**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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