I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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