I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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