Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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