Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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