Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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