So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I feel great
I just peed on a car
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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