So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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