there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize