But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize