i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
