every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
