My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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