Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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