So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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