he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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