Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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