i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
