just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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