you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have already put on my inside pants.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
