She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
