But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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