Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
