Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
