Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
