dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
