i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
