Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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