.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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