That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
