i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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