I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
