Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
