Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
