Pappa wants mamma naked
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
