Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Houston, we have a squirter
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's shark week go big or go home
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
