Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
