Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
