No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
