Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
