If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
