I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
