just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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