So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
