you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Can i not drive my cunt home
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
