You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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