youre lurking in front of me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
