so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
