Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
