Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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