I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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