I seem to have left my pride at pride
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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