What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
