i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
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He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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