Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
