did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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