She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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