He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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