I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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