ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
