When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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