Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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