Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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