A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
