You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
